Life decided that I didn\'t need a family to grow.
Alone I traversed my youth, but I didn\'t know.
Love was foreign to me, I grew knowing only pain.
I wish in my youth I had known what I would one day gain.
I was always one to try far too late.
And straining to push though the closed gate.
My hand outstretched through the bars.
Straining so hard it formed scars.
But life decided that despite all, it would bless me.
I only wish that while I had so much i could have been able to see.
That I could have realized what I had in my hand.
Instead like always too late I watched it flow through my fingers like sand.
Desperately I grasp at what I so recklessly threw away.
Fighting to not lose hope I pray again, suffering another day.
My hands outstretched through those bars yet again, fingers just shy.
But for this, My hand will remain outstretched until the day I die.
And if in my dying breath I find I never touched it again, I will know for sure.
That because of my sins a life without was the least I deserved to endure.
Only then as my eyes close for the last time will I truly say goodbye.
And hope that in the next life I may finally have you again, and with that bittersweet revelation die.