I turn every which way and all I see is darkness,
The trees hold my secrets, my freedom within their dense foliage.
I breathe.. ragged gasping breaths...lips cracked and dry......my heart racing.
Before me a path that is treacherous and almost impossible to negotiate.
Behind me the road I seek to avoid.. my journey so far one of false promises and illusion.
I curl up on the cold dank earth of the forest floor and my tears fall.. bitter angry tears that flow unbidden.
Curled like a foetus, alone and scared... small insignificant figure seeking comfort with nature.
I wrap my arms around myself.... swallowing the panic that threatens to engulf me.
The wounds of life experience seeping through their flimsy dressings.
Festering and raw.... patched and patched yet still they smart and weep.
Wounds that no doubt would have healed long ago.. and yet I pick them still...
Preventing me from seeing the beauty all around me, transfixed by the abyss that is never far away.... powerful is its allure.
Brief, stolen moments of happiness overshadowed by blackness.
Seeking solace through others.... in a vain attempt to avoid myself.
I lift my tear stained face and grit my teeth in resolve.
The passage through the forest awaits me.
To turn back now would be to destroy oneself .. this life is for living and it is woefully short.
The path ahead offers no guarantees... but the real magic lies in the unknown.