you wonder why,
I put that razor to my skin?
or why,
I sometimes let my demons win?
you don’t think
that maybe its cause,
this pain that I feel,
tears me up deep inside
I want the pain,
that I feel all the time,
to be gone,
that’s all I ever asked
when you look at me
you see a happy girl
one who always smiles
and always laughs
you don’t see
that girl,
that you think I am,
isn’t really me
that smile that you see,
is a smile,
I put on,
just to put you at ease
and that laugh,
that you hear
is to make you think
that I’m actually happy
you start to wonder
what happened to that girl
who you knew,
wasn’t scared or unhappy
who would open up to you,
about everything
and wasn’t scared
to tell you whats wrong
but now,
that little girl,
that you thought you once knew,
is long gone, far away from you
she was scared,
of getting judged
you know,
for just being herself
you tell her everyday
that everything will be okay
but she doesn’t believe you
because for her, it never is
she tries,
she really does
she tries to get better
but how can she?
well,
I guess its time for her,
to say her final goodbye,
to you, forever
shes just done
with all this pain
its just to much
for her to even handle
shes so sorry
for what she put you through
shes sorry for all the pain
she may have caused you
she doesn’t want you,
to be sad about her death
its what she wanted,
don’t you see?
she doesn’t fear death
like you think
she craves death
to take away her pain
so when she’s gone
don’t go to her grave
because one little smile
was all she needed, to stay