Grey and white Seagulls fly,
Mostly near bodies of water.
Some perch on street lamp posts,
Clean parking lots of fodder.
But, these Gulls wear skirts and ties.
Outside, they’re never around.
See food in the workplace kitchen,
They dive for it, leaps and bounds.
Then caw about the calories,
Foods that made their waist thick.
Hate themselves for eating so much,
Always caw, “I’m on a diet.”
They are kidding themselves.
To me, this doesn’t fly.
If you’re serious about your weight loss,
Don’t go in there, just fly by.
If the kitchen table’s empty,
Then they swoop into the fridge.
Eat a co-worker’s vanilla yogurt,
Cawing, “There’s no name on it.”
Office Avian are good for something.
If your goal is to get thin.
Bring into work tempting goodies,
In no time, they do it in.
But, remember to be careful.
They’re without patience and moreover.
Once they hear a plate on the table,
Get out of the way or get knocked over.