Drinking up my atmosphere
I hear a little birdie chirping somewhere inside my inner ear
This kid that got me, fair and square
Within two hours of meeting, he took me there
Now, I fucking care about him way too much
Too fast
Too soon
I hope that it wasn\'t the wrong thing to do
To meet this far into the waning of Mother Moon
Energy is, indeed, all the same
The way that it works is not a game
I don\'t know why I feel so lame
So foolish
So out of my league
All I can do is be cautious and, simultaneously, maintain
To take all of his passion with a grain of salt
To put nobody else at fault but me, myself, and I
I am not going to put this guy up on a pedestal
He told me he doesnt wanna be put there
But, I think it\'s a mind game
A trick
A test
Because I didn\'t hesitate when he wanted to take me there
I wish that I didn\'t care at all
I wish that I could crawl into a little cavern and hide
But, I really hate being beside myself
So, strike that wish
Reverse it
I\'ll be there as his friend, his companion but not just as his sideline slut
I won\'t be used for his benefit, nor for his doubt
I guess that it\'s possible to be with him without holding on to the connection that can suddenly cause so much woe
Never again will I be some dudes sugar mamma, his punching bag, and certainly not his hoe
I must let go of the anchor that I know can leave me stranded in the middle of the roaring tide
If he can just somehow convince me without speaking a word that he is truly on my side in this war
That he wants to inhabit my island not just haunt the sands of my shore...
12/02/2015