Freedom received again
Bend me over with joy
It\'s certainly not anything like its cracked up to be
I just don\'t know what to do with myself now
Besides beating off to porn all high
Anything to keep my spinning mind at ease
Easy, this is not
I bought myself down to poverty
Stupid ass me
Freedom rang its bell high and free
Today, I could see all of the reasons why I loved him
For the times when he was genuine and true
I am through pondering it all now
Subdued for over a year that seemed like a century of abuse
I only hope that a truce can be called between his darkness and mine
It should all have been a divine thing
Instead, it turned into a vicious battle that neither of us could ever hope to win
I don\'t need any more men to fill my empty hole
Unless I am fading and they offer me a toke off of their little bowl of madness
Sadness always coincides
I often venture into my world within, wherein hides everything that my ego camouflages
Creating mental mirages always
Where God and Satan play croquet and we become nothing but their little toys
Who will be the one that ultimately destroys the missing soul?
We are all just parts of a an infinite whole
All with a goal for gain
The pain drips, flooding out my vision sphere
Catching every tear before they tumble to the ground
Freedom and sorrow co-mingling made my heart see to it that my Spirit was found
Splashing through the mud puddles of questions without answers
Riddles, unsolvable
A heart full of desire is a hard creature to keep fed
Becoming dead to the outside world
Fighting off the truth as people keep trying to walk through my head
It has all already been said but still I continue to wait for the fucking phone to ring
Because, it was all so much more than a little thing
At least it was to me
I just find it hard to believe that we allowed the beast to swallow us....
6/16/2006