trinhead

18 Things You Left Me With

1. A playlist of some of the best pop punk songs ever written
2. A rusty promise ring, which I still wear. Even though the promise was broken- the beauty wasn’t. Or maybe part of me still hopes that when we said “One day”, that that day is still coming
3. An image of every future lover I have holding someone else while they text me goodnight.
4. The realization that even though someone can say I’m more than enough- I may never really be sufficient.
5. The habit of calling everyone “dude”, and the love for baby cacti.
6. The comprehension of “Love yourself before you love anyone else” because through you I realized 1+1=2, and in a relationship you can’t cheat that by adding ½ to 3/2, We both need to be whole, and love is about balance.
7. The idea that people aren’t medicine.
8. The idea that people aren\'t happiness.
9. The knowledge that if someone hurts you bad enough you have to write about it- they’re not worth sharing your poetry with.
10. The conclusion that I\'m as replaceable as a pair of socks.  And that when you said I wasn\'t you were blatantly lying.
11. Wondering if every other person in my life is lying too...because if the one who meant the most could steer from the truth what’s stopping everyone else?
12. Paranoia, lots of paranoia
13. An abundance of paintings of sad girls
14. Insight to all of my weaknesses, yes the ones you claimed to love so much, now I see why
15. 326 photos on my phone that I still haven’t brought myself to deleting
16. Hatred for my favorite song because now it just seems to sing your name
17. The inability to sleep, because my dreams only replay the ones we made together
18. The inability to count past 18 because 18 was the day the axis of my world flipped.. 18 texts I sent out of anger and confusion and sadness. 18 songs I wrote for you now ripped up and lost. 18 letters I wrote for you everyday before I knew what happened on the 18th day. 18 sleeps that month before you decided to sleep with someone else.