My angel and my children often look at me with loving sparkling eyes and a big fat grinn that sometimes is enough to make me act silly and jump about and sing .
But often when they do it the reaction is no so great my eyes just look straight through them my minds some other place .
I do not know the reason why my minds in such a race I wish it would pause and stop and let my sanity have some space .
When I look at my angel and children I feel so sorry for all as all they do is love me but its like loving a brick wall .
Im writing this poem for them and a little for myself just to somehow try to tell them its not me its my mental health .
I really really do love them really love them all I wish I could stop my mind and break down that mental wall .
I am so very sorry I\'m trying to tell you all im writing this at 4.30 in the morning my mind won\'t stop at all .
I hope you all still love me and forgive me for my flaws I really want to return the love and swing open that mental door xxxxx for my kids and mrs
love always the lonely poet