I honestly don’t know
About anything anymore
I hear everyone’s opinions
Thoughts
Saying…
Don’t go back to him
You deserve so much better
You have a wonderful guy that will do everything and anything for you
A man that understands you
Excepts you for you
Respects you
Why would you want to leave that?
I think to myself
I don’t know
But
The other man is like a drug
So strong
That I always want to go back for more
That I can’t let go
I can’t stop thinking about it
He is my best friend
Someone I connect deeply with
Someone that makes me laugh and smile
That I think I love with all my heart
But
We fight
We argue
We yell
We scream
Non stop
It never ends with the arguing
Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep since it was so bad
But
After the arguing was done
Over
We would go back to loving one another like nothing ever happened…
Now that we are apart…
I understand him more
I know what makes him tick
Know how to communicate with him
But
The drug is so strong
And pulls me to go back
But why?
Why would I ruin the “perfect” relationship I have with the man I am with now
For…
An ex relationship full of fights
Anger
But
Lust
Love
Passion
Understanding
My heart is torn not knowing what to do
Where to go
I can’t make up my mind
I don’t understand why it is so hard
Can anyone
Give me insight as to why
I love this drug so much.
Why I can’t let go
Why I can’t break free
Or
Is it the fact that?
I am meant to be with this drug, the addiction, the thrill?
Help me…
Understand…
Please…