It amazes me
that I\'m the one with kinks all through my neck
Behind in just about everything
No boyfriend
Much less, a wedding ring
Unable to even sing my songs in peace without comment
Like I\'m up to my waist in wet cement
Bent upon their departure
which will be far from simple when the time comes at last, guaranteed...
They all sit around trying to convince me in my own home that I am a spoiled brat,
living in luxury without any needs
Indeed, that was the plan
My big plot
The one that they are convinced I hold somewhere hidden
When, actually, what I have now in this particular moment is what I have
I have not had enough time to collect, even if this time or any prior were the right time
These ungrateful bastards even have the fucking balls to further attempt to rush me through all of my chances to enjoy relaxation
So, I end up enjoying them all alone, in the realm some call \"the sublime\"
It\'s fucking unreal that they actually have the nerve to steal from me
And even more so, the few things that I instruct them not to touch or tell them they can\'t have through me are the very items that become to them the holy grails of their thieving careers
So, they went ahead and took all three 26-32 hour sweep
Too blind to see that they must first love themselves unconditionally before they could ever fathom being able to love me
I won\'t make up any excuses for owning a few luxuries at the age of thirty-six
It only further fuels their envy when I take the time to explain to them how simple it was to earn them
It does not make sense to them because sensibility is not a quality that you can find anywhere within their outlines
Hustling people
Lying
Stealing
Turning tricks
All of that garbage confuses me, actually....
For, I am always there to dry their tears
To speak to them in kind gestures in regard to the erasure of all of their fears
I do everything that I can do to help them along their way
Even when broke, living on nothing more then random pay
The only that I know for sure is a definite guarantee is that the rent will be payed for me while I am here
Living reluctantly in my studio condominium in the sky
My millionaire mother insists upon paying the rent for me
Who would say no?
I have taken in many
I have given them love
I have provided them shelter from the unforgiving Reno Winter skies that have too often been lingering above
I have given them the only clothes that I have managed to purchase for me
I have been the only one who has not acted blindly upon the shit that their own eyes so often are unable to see
I have been me, and nothing more
It never seems to be enough
So, some of them have gone out of their way to try and turn it all around so that I will be forced to call my own bluff
Now, I have finally had more than enough of their sorry-ass fucking complaining
I have been forced, at long last, to speak in ancient tongues now as the Lady Moon is waning
So far, the result has only been murky skies when what I need is for them to be raining men!
11/5/2012