grace.nicole

Joking

We joked about it a lot

Then we became they

And they joked about it 

There were times when the truth was greater than the laughter

And those times were becoming more frequent

I didn\'t know how to handle it

And that upset me

My inability to change the human mind

It frustrated me

That frustration died out into worry

Worry that filled me 

Like water in my lungs

And a sedative in my blood 

Panic without action

Drowning without being able to fight back

And I stopped sleeping

Restlessness taking over

An overactive mind wandering on its own

And I couldn\'t just close my eyes and drift away

Because I couldn\'t stop imagining

\'What if it was more than joking?\'