Jayden

It\'s kind of funny

 

It’s funny because I’ve been finding you in everything I do,

Every second thought, every breath I take, watching television shows and a single word can bring up a hundred thoughts about you and the memories we used to make,

laying on your front lawn at 3 am, looking up at the patterns the stars made in the sky,

you’d tell me Orion\'s belt reminded you of your grandfather but never went into detail as to why,

I always find myself wondering about it,

but now I will never be able to ask.

I still remember how pale your skin looked in the moonlight,

having the same qualities as a tall glass of milk,

how easily bruises formed on your legs, it was sort of like looking at a painting,

shades of pink, navy and dark purple,

Shades from the galaxy.

I still find humor in the way you left,

it’s funny because the worst night with you was so similar to the best,

only on my lawn, soft grass in between my fingers, because for some reason, they weren’t laced in yours.

I knew something was wrong because there weren\'t stars in the sky, let alone in your eyes.

you told me it was over, three words, no explanation.

I tried to form a sentence, but at that moment, I couldn’t even breathe.

I watched you walk away without a fight.

Some days I stay awake, wondering if I would have said anything,

Would it have made a difference?

Would you still have left if I was more of a man and asked you to stay?

I hate all the memories of that night, any reminder of it driving me insane,

any girl on the street with your exact hair color sends me into a whirlwind of emotion,

A tornado of love, lust, and jealousy, not because of the girl who the only similarity she shares with you is minor,

but because of the long red hair and the way it used to always find it’s way onto my face,

and the fact that I still sometimes find locks of it in the oddest places,  

on my carpet, in my sheets, anywhere,

and it’s funny how six months later you can still leave your mark.