Branching out
Reaching for something that might manifest into real love
Like a curse that has yet to be lifted
Barricading my every move
These freaks who long to prove to me their sick ideas of admiration
Calling me constantly
Over
and over
AND OVER
Blocking their numbers so that they can temporarily remain unseen
Their words, spoken in tones so morose and unclean
Threatening
Following
Showing up everywhere I happen to be
Stalkers
Souls too torn to ever set anyone free
I will admit, I have made some mistakes
Fondling penises attached to men I will never know
I only realize my wrong-doing somewhere, later, in the afterglow
They clamber
They hold on
They take all of the bullshit that I feed them, even though they can see that I have already thrown them away
I wonder what their families will say when I start making some phone calls of my own
A bunch of nut jobs that try to make me feel as though I must make amends with them
This last one swears to me that he needs me in his life
But, he has a wife and I am nothing more than a fucking dirty lie
I tried to meet him somewhere close to half way
But, every time that I made it that far, the douche bag would not listen to a single thing that I had to say
Branching out, I am a tree
Stuck in the soil with the nutrients that make me see too well
Most of these idiots are without souls
They are dark entities that come into my life to take me for a walk through their own personal Hell
Clearly, if I were to ever become so low, I would have one of my own
Perhaps I should just force myself to become satisfied with being here, essentially, alone
He turned his back too quickly, so soon
I heard a warning call in the dark stillness of the night
Spoken by The Mother God who whispers to me from the depths of the Moon
Everywhere that I turn, there is someone\'s nose in my face begging to be buried within the cheeks of my ass
The funny thing is, I know that I am not the catalyst that they seek
I am a mystic traveler held back by the pull of the tide with vision that has been temporarily impaired by millions of liquid droplets that emotional happenstance has forced me to cry
My confidence comes not from my pride, but from the pure loving light of God
It beams down always upon my brow
I have oddities about me that nobody can fathom, nor comprehend
I wish that I could somehow show them that their hearts are, in themselves, obstacles that even my strength could never mend
I have given so many way too much of me, but the times when I did so are long gone
No matter how deep their obsession with me becomes, they will be left behind to fondle my shadow while the rest of me marches on
In reality, we really had nothing
The me of his delusions was never there
It\'s over
I\'m gone
Be aware of my light no more.....
3/3/2010