the little stuff sticks and i think that\'s what hurts the most
having multiple small memories about different things versus one big one. the smaller ones eat at you because there\'s a little bit of him in almost everything i see whether it\'s a flower and how that\'s his main picture or another guy with a beard and my mind is tied back to yours.
i miss seeing the scruff, big lips, and chink eyes on my screen every night. it gave me the comfort i\'ve been missing. i had high expectations with you but you\'re a prime example of expect the least and you won\'t be hurt.
i tried to keep it that way but now i\'m hurt. it hurts. i cringe every time i go on twitter because i wish i would have a notification from you. or when i go to look at my messages and there\'s still no typing bubbles or reply from you.
how? what triggered you to pull the trigger and force me, the bullet, out of your life, the gun? how?
i think back on the time i wasted arguing over what movie to watch with you when i could have just picked titanic and sat there and watched you. i miss watching you fall asleep in front of me although you weren\'t really in front of me
i miss the way you held my hand when i would drive you home at 2:30 in the morning even though it was supposed to be 2 but i just didn\'t want to let go of you
but you let go of me. in the blink of an eye, the beat of a heart, flash of lightning i had what i wanted to be my whole heart taken away from me i wanted you i had hope in you i put my faith in you and in a matter of 10 fucking minutes you just decided you were through.
this poem is too long and i know if i\'m reading it to you i\'m crying but it probably doesn\'t phase you.
i think back to the last time i facetimed you and wish i would have spent it different because you just hung up and that was the first night in two weeks i had fallen asleep without you. woke up to a black screen.
i\'m hurting and i don\'t know why.