Adrianna Kjeld

Coffee and cigarettes

The smell is almost putrid, and  overwhelming. 
The vile concoction of bitter caffeine and sweet tobacco.

The smell that follows me, coffee and cigarettes.
I can see the look of disgust in his eyes as he passes me.

When he leans in to kiss me, and backs away,  from my breath. 
He’s disgusted by the choices I’ve made, the woman I am.

He just doesn’t understand, How could such a man!
How could such a man understand the stench of burnt cigarettes?

These things I’ve mentioned run my life.
An artificial, semi-permanent high, on this I find myself constantly relying.   

These things as vile as they seem, they keep me going.
Guiding me through the  flurry I call my  life.

How could o get him to understand?
How could such a man?

He deals with his problems, and…and!
He holds his head so high. 
Even when the night crawls in, he rarely gives a sigh.
Hell, I’ve never even seen the man cry.

Why can’t I?
Why can’t I be like this man?

God, I strive to be the man he is.
but how can I?

Being the woman I am.

Such a man could never…never, 
understand the kind of woman I am.

And what kind of woman am I?!
I run away from my problems, 
I hang my head down,  low.

Coffee and cigarettes, the only way to go!
I’m disgusted with the choices I’ve made,

and that’s what he doesn’t know!
I just don’t understand...

why can’t I be like that man.

Coffee and cigarettes,  
they run my whole damn life.

They keep me running from my strife.
How I wish I  could deal with my problems!

My issues nibbling at my brain, like goblins!
*pft* hold my head high, How could I?

I have coffee and cigarettes that keep me going.
The blood in my veins, continuous, and flowing!

..But my god, I’m so disgusted with the woman I am, 
So I will continue to strive to be like  that man

Coffee and cigarettes? Oh yes I am.