down the rabbithole

Reminiscing

\'Can I see you?\' 

Your words reach out to me like an open palm

A palm I used to hold

Nowadays I only see you from afar

i want to tell you how I notice your hair has grown,

how it flicks up on one side and I bet it annoys you 

I want to tell you to run my fingers through it once more would make me cry because it couldn\'t be twice

\'that would be nice\' 

my reply is beige compared to the vibrancy of my true feelings of meeting

You are drawn to me and I to you

Deny it forever my friend if it suits,

but your eyes have never lied to me

I wonder if we will meet?

Would it not cut me more?

My scars are healing now

The thought of you tearing them open again though makes me feel alive

I don\'t care if it hurts

Not seeing you hurts 

So see me

Hurt me

Until the day you love me

When you look at me from afar I feel your eyes on my soul

I remember tasting beer and you...

oh the taste of you

I remember your smell on that jumper I wore to bed 

I remember your lips on my collarbone

Your fingers within me as I lost control

I loved your control

My lack of 

i wonder if you know how I despise my own eyes as they trace the carpark for that familiar numberplate

\'don\'t look\'

\'who cares?!\'

I care, 

Always did 

So do you