I do my poos, in the loos
Sometimes in Grand mama\'s shoes.
On a scale of smell my bum would get a 10
In the middle of a meal
I\'ll say \"Hang on, skip the eel,
I need to go to the lav again\"
It really is not fun
When in the countryside your bum
Needs a poo but all there is is plants
So to my friend I say
\"Kindly look the other way,
I\'m about to take down my underpants\"
It can be sticky and slooshy
Very wet or very mooshy
Thick and hard or a sloppy one that\'s soft
Sometimes I could poo for the nation
Other times, my constipation
Occurs and I can barely get a waft
You may think I\'m minging
With this song I\'m singing
You think \"What\'s wrong wit this person\'s brain?
But it\'s true that in a meal
I\'ll say \'\'Hang on, skip the eel,
I need to go to the lav again\'\'