The beat is pumping the party is hot
She blows her nose, she is full of snot
She straightened her hair and make up was applied
Her friends said she looked great, the bastards lied
There are mirrors on ceilings and some on the wall
These ridiculously high heels made her look nice and tall
If only she could actually move and walk somewhere
But too scared of falling over she just couldn’t dare
She just nearly stacked whilst suppressing a cough
The best thing to do would be to just take them off
But how bad would that look there are guys over there
She would rather be noticed for her clothes and her hair
And oh my god now she can feel a sneeze coming on
She goes through her handbag the tissues have all gone!
What does she do use the back of her hand?
If she does there’ll be no getting herself even a one night stand!
The best thing to do is ask her friends for assistance
But alas she can see them boogying on down in the distance
She should have stayed at home under her duvet
And watched a chick flick with her mate Paul who is gay
This is far too much effort to make just to get a snog
From some silly man who’s pissed up and called “Bob”
Or whatever he decides his name is
And pretends he’s a pilot or in the music biz’
Admitting defeat she decides on the “best thing”
She ignores the group of males who are lingering
She needs some tissue and she needs them now
She tries to step forward and lets out a big aaaaawwww
So grabbing shoes in one hand she gets out of this place
Hoping no one can see the snot dribbling down her face
Straight to the bathroom then off home in dismay
Will she wear these shoes again, no effin way