Let me introduce myself.
All I care about is health
and making sure you’re thin
I’ll see to it that you lose that weight
and leave you feeling great.
I will be your best friend
together till the end.
You will learn to love me
as I count down from three.
Three
more times you must exercise
till you want to die.
Two
less meals per day
soon you’ll see no other way.
One
person left who cares.
You know I’m the only one who will be there.
After this simple count of three
hopefully now you see,
you cannot live without me.
I’ll get you to look in the mirror every night
and the numbers will give you a fright.
Every time they go up
put your head over the toilet
it’s time to throw up.
You will not see a life without me.
I am all you’ll ever be.
That’s the way life works with you and me.
Signed, your worst enemy.