Everyday I understand why Kurt cobain killed himself , because when you care so much for others you tend to lose yourself . For me I lose myself by giving out love that I never receive back some days I sit in disbelief like why ? , why ? Do I do this to myself no one will ever give it back . So I put a mask on and smile , try to connect with others knowing deep down no one sees the pain , I feel the tears I cry at night feeling worthless , hopeless . Loneliness it’s not even the problem because when I’m alone I feel at peace when I’m around others that’s when I feel like I have to put on an act . I have to make others smile , laugh pat everyone on their backs so they could feel good . The only question is who’s there for me when I cry or when my mind takes over and tell me I’m no good , who’s there for when I’m at my lowest point in life . When cry and wipe my tears and say to myself you’ll be okay every pain is temporary, you’ll get through this . I discover everyday no one could love you like yourself but I question that do I really love myself because if I did I wouldn’t put myself through this.