If you are wondering if i am alright
Tossing amd turning in the middle of the night.
Can\'t eat a meal with out putting up a fight,
Barely was in school but yet I am so bright.
The truth of my youth will it send me to heaven?
Almost stolen on holiday when I was eleven.
Took by a man who thought he could have me,
Thankfully with a bang on the door i finally got free.
Only turned fourteen, before things got so mean,
Bulllied at school, wish that I\'d never been.
Lost all this weight at a rate so obscene,
I had become one very fragile ill teen.
The put me in hospital, for \'bad kids\' may I quote,
Force fed me meals or shoved tubes down my throat.
It happened a lot, bloated fucking shoat,
If only this part of my childhood could be rewrote.
But ofcorse I got out, after time and weight gain,
Hey I\'m okay mum, promise there\'s no pain.
I can\'t go back there, I am well, I am sane,
As if that hell could have healed my brain.
I hid things well then, for a further three years,
Changed my whole image, masked all my fears.
When bad things happened again, I hid my tears,
No food, just drinking and drugging, everything disappears.
Including myself, seventeen, skin and bone,
Admitted to a hospital, weighing only four stone.
A medical ward, a safety zone,
But I couldn\'t get better all on my own.
I had no fight, I had no will,
Everything had gone down hill.
I was so weak, so gone, so ill,
Given days to live, that is until..
Doctors, they came, from oversea
After many distressing pleads from my family.
But there is no place here for my E.D,
So off to london for a year they sent me.
Therapists to heal, talk about the past,
Doctors, dietitions, nurses all were vast.
Made friends, felt better, \'recovered\', ammased,
And when I was ready at nineteen, I walked free at last.
And here we are now, nine years on,
Life\'s thrown so much, and I\'ve been strong.
But now I don\'t know what\'s went so wrong,
And the question I\'m asking myself is, how long?