Reminiscing from jail

Thinking and feeling trapped in this cage, and yes so full of rage.

For all the mess that  I\'ve made, just want my mind to fade.

All the good, laughs and smiles, I hope it can still one day be my sweet seranade, or will it stay a mass destruction  from a grenade.

I don\'t want to face my life as it\'s lost, wish I thought and listened,to weigh out all at cost.

I sit here gazing on my past, I can\'t figure why it all didn\'t last.

It saddens me, I didn\'t have a family to teach,guide or give clear direction, always judging and turning their backs,why  never no love or affection.

Always in a cruel harsh world alone, wish it was an option to make a call to them on the phone.

All I had were frienemies to turn to that were always high or a stoner, who didn\'t have time because they were all in some sort of addiction and rather be a loner.

So alone I never figured nothing out, never found that sence of want and love thats no doubt.

I set my mind to shut down, lost my smile only to frown. 

In my mind and heart I built tough concrete walls, because I knew thinking outside them would only cause me to fall.

Deep down realizing I was so full of color,my mind and heart of wonderous beauty ready to flutter.

Hope I make it out this dull dungeon,out of the lone world of dealing and skeeming now I can say I\'m done.

Tired and exhausted feeling and causing hurt,I stand tall and strong now knowing my worth.

Just want to look forward and smile happily,going to be with my brother who all along been their as my family.

I\'m going to look forward with a golden heart,find my peace and be full of joy, contentment and smarts.

Go for my dreams,want and needs to never to say,hi I\'m Lala want to play.

Time to look to a brighter future, not look at that,that brought me to depression and a life of nightmares and horrible torture.

I pray to get my 7 hearts back,including mine,so we\'ll see if maybe I find my shine.

Were we all walk in a green beautiful flowered  pasture,smiling and shining bright for a brighter future.

Only in time,I pray, it\'ll all once again, be all mine.