ANGER, POSTPONED
I ´ll hold fast to all that was deep
in him
all that was human and valuable
to me.
Now I stand apart, watch him sideways
and lost, because the lines of our script
have changed overnight.
Even his chair, with a brown blanket
seems more a prop than reality.
I watch with eyes of wet steel
how a stupid disease devours my husband.
I hope that he just pretends,
provokes and challenges me.
I rage inside and silent: STOP this nonsense,
step out of it, don´t act the fool with me.
It is clear I can´t
postpone my anger. I almost choke,
stamp out of the house, bang the door
and run with heavy feet,
kick at stones
and yell at too red roses.
The wet steel flows.