I\'ve contemplated
Drugs,
Self harm,
And
Suicide...
But no one would ever
Believe me,
Because on the outside,
They only see that:
I have good grades,
Nice friends,
A decent family,
And
The fact I smile.
But on the inside,
They can\'t:
Hear the voices of demons
Taunting me at every step,
Insulting me,
Deceiving me,
And they just won\'t go away...
Know what it\'s like
To be burned, stabbed,
Drowned, dead...,
Understand that I can\'t live a day
Without worrying about
My body (am I ugly?),
My intelligence (am I dysfunctional?),
My personality (am I unlovable?),
My world (how many will die today?),
My God (are you there?)...,
See my constant,
Internal
Anxiety,
Panic,
And
Pain
Because
I\'m
Always,
Always
Dismissed...
And you\'re only
My friend
Or
My family
If you can see past
The
\"I\'m fine\"
And
\"Everything\'s good\"
Or even
My smile...
Look past my shell
And see
Who I truly am,
Because
I have
Never been,
Who you think I am.