I\'d been scarred so deeply by a boy that was undeserving of my love that I wasn\'t sure that I\'d be able to love anyone else again.
That\'s so, so foolish of me to think.
I am so young.
I am built to be resilient.
But why don\'t I feel a thing?
Why don\'t I feel a damn thing?
Why did I give him the power to damage me?
But sometimes I also ask why did I love so strongly the first time?
Why was it so real?
I was simply too young to have something so real.
When some of these questions were dripping out of my mouth like a leaky sink fixture my mother stopped me and said, \"Dear, love doesn\'t discriminate. Neither does sadness, happiness, numbness, or tragedy.\"
I have grown so much since then, though it\'s been a short time. I carry her words with me.
Now, I feel.
I feel my skin soaking up the warm sunshine. I feel my gut start to hurt when my friends and I laugh till we cry. I feel the love radiating off of my mother when she hugs me tight.
When the man that I now love calls me beautiful I believe him and I am beautiful.
I am so beautiful and I wish that I wouldn\'t have spent so much time hating myself for things that were out of my control.
Now, I love myself.