Awake, yet inside feeling numb,
Trying hard not to succumb,
Resistance taking all my might,
Until these urges I cannot fight.
Perplexed with the crazy irony,
Twisted logic only I can see,
Depending on it to feel well again,
The reason this sickness began.
A world revolved around using,
Blinding me to all I\'m losing,
Wanting only the next fix,
Waiting impatiently for a hit.
A viscous cycle some never break,
Sometimes in silence I lay awake,
While I contemplate my life,
Feeling shameful and contrite.
As my thoughts transform to pain,
Moments I promise to abstain,
Instantly my struggle from within,
Stronger than my will and i give in.
One day, a breaking point or such,
Do I get free, or will it be too much,
Out of addiction will I be led,
Or will it be I finally wind up dead.