You know sometimes you find it ok and find pride in saying that you don\'t feel anything but inside you know its a bad thing
You wanna feel but at the same time you don\'t because.. when you felt you had a belly full of pills
And when you felt you wher hanging from a belt
And when you felt you were one foot away from taking your breath away
But you know you want to feel but everytime you do everything ends for the worst and never for the better because when you felt
You had a knife up to your neck
And when you felt you had bruises on your back
And when you felt you got slaped across your face
And when you felt you were laying down in pain to suffer the fact you had to hide to suffer the fact when you let it out no one took it seriously because your to young to feel what sad really is
When you felt you scratched the skin off your legs because you cared to much the thoughts in your head where to overwhelming at the time just adding that one more was your edge
When you felt you always knew you would feel again
You felt when you walked around the room trying to act like someone else knowing inside your not
You felt when you lay in your bed pounding your head saying stop when it was only you
You felt when your learn that you feeling isn\'t ok even know thats what people do every single day
Sometimes you don\'t even wanna get out of bed knowing that there is nothing to do knowing that you don\'t wanna deal with you knowing that you will cry on the inside or on the outside everyday it never fails but you do and you try to manipulate yourself everyday that you are absolutely okay
You hate that people don\'t see pain in everyone because of there age but at least you know but thats not enough to survive
When you\'re in the moment you feel that it\'s best that you go away because everyone will be better throughout every day without you because of all the words they say and it will take off a lot of pain after going through the worst pain of all when you have your two feet in the grave rest in peace they say but really you\'re still probably screaming you never know when it ends but you want to take that risk maybe it will end after
But at the same time you want to let people know that you don\'t want to go you don\'t want to leave this universe that was a gift to you UNI verse uni is a word that means one verse in the word for song UNI verse as in one song One Life is only one song the the rhythm of your heart the rhythm of your feet that was placed on this Earth around you
You can not waste it you have so much to live for I wish I can believe that for myslef one day I will or maybe never but Ill die trying
But of course Im afraid of feeling because I\'m juge for it hit for it yelled at for it locked up for it
It makes you far away from that one feeling you don\'t catch for a whole day happiness maybe Im running to fast and keep passing it and Im running to the wrong direction straight to my grave I have no time for errands
Everyone feels but not everyone survives
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Tia Davis.All Rights Reserved.
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