the door cracks shut and I am sealed
left to the vacuum of these dreams
no pillow for suffocating echoes
their ghosts rattle poison through the seams
would have been could have been should have been
where the glass lay shattered slowly bleeding
reels looped in cruel teeth gnashing nip my heels
\"baby\" it said
\"when we make love\" it said
violates my flesh and I am still-
I have singed it all a thousand times while sleeping
and stitched together ashes in my sin
to have the flames for pleasure licking hatred
just to feel and scorch it all again
you are smoke
green skies streaming smear the cinders
leak their rivers screaming as I curl
into paper only paper it\'s just paper
and you can\'t smell the charring as I burn
I am smoke
for all the blackness of my fingers
that only years long scars aren\'t blind to see
I sketch you whole again in charcoal poems
on the floating fragments left of me
we are smoke only smoke can you love me through the smoke