For the soul of Allen Ginsberg
I
I’ve seen the pure souls of my epoch sullied by lust, revolting revolutionaries, every waking minute driven by the brute instincts and vices of their lower animal natures, Eros minded swingers stuffing themselves with rotten food from back alley trash bins,
whose impoverished appetite preceded a starving mind distracted by countless digital visual flashes of electronic screens,
whose total surrender to the armies of the Hippocratic Oath kept them cuffed on a steady diet of “the pill”, SSRI’s, and opioids,
whose victimhood was enshrined by the toxic drug driven, testosterone fueled phallic libido,
whose new freaky freedoms were not really liberating experiences at all, just stripped down jailhouses naked of all modesty and beauty, lonely incarcerations,
whose inexorable suffocating depression, like multiples of pin pricking pointed thorns on a vine-like stem, stemmed, for sure in part, from bouts of frequent nights of bloating drunken revelry, congregating in the middle of downtown San Antonio on dance floors consisting of hordes of sweaty people whom had already lived for the better part of a half century,
whose emancipated drive for sex without the risk of birth and Las Vegas style, no-fault divorce ushered in every conceivable kind of club, country western bar, biker, straight, gay, rocker, loner, and rave haunt imaginable - getting sprayed with wet foam being all the rage,
whose closeted, accidental kiddos were all but estranged to parents long ago separated but still barely bound under one common roof, common-law property, philandering escapades and hook-ups aside, partnered cohabitation guaranteeing the dissolubility of any downgraded relationship where lackluster, inconvenient, short on \'love’ feelings predominated; mind not the children growing up glamorized by romantic, Internet images of suicide, Columbine, and “sexicide:\" pre-teen hormonal cocktails to completely change one’s sex because Mommy and Daddy really never paid enough attention to know if they were raising a boy or a girl,
whose self-consumed, Liberace-like lifestyles and over-stimulated, pornified brains drove them to new heights of spirited promiscuity and lost anonymity until the purposeful abandonment of their own children eventually followed, after all, in one case the kids got in the way of a newly found gay love relationship in Austin,
whose sole ambition of motherhood was to raise a Siamese cat and a dog, meow and howl; a pet rat and a Cockatoo, squeak and chirp, despising the thought of ever procreating anything of her own species,
whose two small boys, to one unwed mother, fathered by two men, certainly doomed little Helen Marie, fathered by a third man, to the grim destiny of becoming fetal body parts for sale in the black markets of Harris county, tsk, tsk, tsk,
whose discussions long into the night centered around the rebellion and agenda for new modernism and how it had certainly stripped beauty from Twentieth century music, art, learning, and culture: Schoenberg’s ghastly 12-tone system, the Los Angeles County Museum of Art offering an uninspiring 340 ton rock at its entryway, the pushing out of all standards and the reduction of composition to nothing more than personal expression, like sexual desires; the Holy Virgin Mary fashioned with cow dung and pornographic images, and the prize winning Petra the police woman squatting and peeing before the public gaze, the scatological and the trashy surpassing the transcendent, a Church property in Marfa converted to a museum of profane, uncouth, sexualized art; revising textbooks, history, and restroom laws; tearing down storied statues, monuments, and the Ten Commandments; desecrating the United States flag, removing prayer from school,
whose political leaders favored foreign policy aimed to withhold all major funding unless contraception, abortion, and same-sex marriage were fully indoctrinated by the religiously opposed, impoverished third world countries desperately in need, yet with rich, noble, royal, and well-formed consciences and abstinence programs, none-the-less still suffering AIDS epidemics, human trafficking, and foreign sex-tourism,
whose naive and lonely hunted for wives in Houston\'s ‘gentlemen clubs’ where the selection of shirtless, striptease artists with shiny, Prell washed straight long hair and red lipstick, plump, diapered babies at home, coming from good families, no, really good families, abounded, all claiming to be victims of some form of recent misfortune or another, a setback in their liberal arts college degree studies, dead-beat dads gone missing, misogynistic employers wanting nothing more than their bodies, an accident, an illness - just dying to be rescued by some poor gent with a wad of one dollar bills in his pocket, at least until a richer gent walked in with a roll of Ben Franklins to burn,
whose serial cohabitations, (two is better than one, except with single motherhood the new norm, these were almost always more than two), meant living together with single unwed mothers, which collectively caused great psychological harm to the poor children involved whom really, really, really wanted nothing more than to see their real dad and not some strange man in his shorts with reels of film from families that are no more, whom had recently talked mommy into shacking up together until they could afford to get married, way later of course - if ever, or at least for the next six months or so, or until the next loud fit of arguments, profanity, and tears,
whose only chance of children slipped away in that dreary little office in Bexar county that looked like a doctor’s office, that smelled like a doctor’s office, that sounded like a doctor’s office, that charged like a doctor’s office, except this was an office of death and took all the money upfront and it took lives upfront too- babies lives - this place didn’t save lives, so some sixty years past Allen’s best work, may God rest his soul, abortion on demand is legal, just one major downer to the innumerable other shame shaking shams and sufferings ushered in by the sexual revolution that poets rode in on their drug fueled frenzy of 1955, praising their newly found libertine licenses to anything licentious, not only are we no safer now than then but neither is our population, old people are euthanized, life is butchered out of the young bodies of women, barring the Biblical idol in Leviticus to whom the Canaanites sacrificed children, we now, yet so much more enlightened, nearly always worship just ourselves, bowing down to no one but our own selfish whims and desires, killing our own children, directly or indirectly, those truly innocent souls, without any prayer to a god, without any sacrifice to a god, the Aztecs sacrificed their kids to the gods, sick as is sounds we don\'t make any kind of sacrifice today when we kill our kids, instead, with hats fashioned in the form of female genitalia, we form flash mobs to proudly and flamboyantly promote our own choice to be free from a child over the child’s right to live a life, the worst affront of all indeed if a loving God, a Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus, should exist as the prophets foretold throughout all of the miserably sinful history of mankind, in that case may the most merciful God have mercy on our poor souls even if it means a thousand years in purgatory.
II
What collection of fibers so tightly wound and bound around their eyes so full of white scales could keep them in such total darkness and so completely blinded?
Tlazolteotl! (Teezolteohtuh)! \"Zolt\"! Zolt! Disease! death caused by lust! Vice! Zolt! Zolt! goddess who eats filthy excrescences! tripple X rated! revolting Zolt! Zolt running through dirty streets! Eat dirt! Zolt! Zolt filled with Lucifer\'s demons! sexual misdeeds! treasonous Zolt! dooms the souls of mankind Zolt! straightjackets of addiction! sexual addicts! Zolt the patroness of adulterers! Zolt the purification of nothing! Zolt spawner of demonic deeds! Zolt the Aztec goddess! the friend of abortionists! Zolt the goddess of lechery and unlawful love! the afflictor of terrible diseases (for the right to indulge in forbidden love)! Zolt! Zolt seething to smash apart permanent marriages! Zolt indifferent to children! devours children! Zolt spewing vicious desires! seedy Zolt! mocking indissolubility! Zolt defiles families with sins! Zolt breeds serial polygamists! the polyamorous! Zolt I dreamt of a lost child! I lost my fatherhood to Zolt! I sacrificed my child to Zolt! I aborted my child to Zolt! my lover abandoned me for sex with another woman! girl on girl Zolt! Zolt wanted my soul! all alone in Zolt! Zolt symbolized by dirt, depicted by ochre colored symbols of excrement around her mouth and nose! Zolt goddess of dirt! Zolt causes of diseases! STDs Zolt! Uncleanliness! sulphuric odors! nothing will cure! pornographic images forever burned in the brain! Soft! Hard! Gay! Child! trafficking prostitutes! criminal molestors! physically and morally bankrupt! eating out of dumpsters! dirt eating! immoral unions! prohibited unions! doctor Ruth induced masturbation! Contraception! Sterilization! Castration! sluggish cruise ships filled with sexed up, shrieking members of the same sex sailing through stagnant, stinking seas! crazed eyes! dirty talk! pederastic pedophilic predators prowling around schoolyards, in your children’s schoolbooks, and church confessionals! Where Paul wrote to the Romans \"God now deserts them to their burning lusts, one towards another, women having exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature, men with men, doing shameless things...receiving in themselves the fitting recompense of their perversity,\" oh Pray! \"resolved against God, reprobate, they do what is not fitting,\" oh Pray! \"filled with iniquity, malice, immorality, avarice, wickedness,\" oh Pray! \"being filled with envy, murder, contention, deceit, malignity,\" oh Pray! \"being whisperers, detractors, hateful to God, irreverent, proud, haughty, plotters of evil,\" oh Pray! \"disobedient to parents, foolish, dissolute, without affection, without fidelity, without mercy,\" oh Pray! deserving of spiritual death! oh Pray! celebrating these shameful lusts and practically forcing others to do the same! oh Pray! \"those whom exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature,\" Zolt condemned! \"rather than the Creator who is blessed forever, amen.”
III
Allen Ginsberg! I pray at Tablerock
for your soul
I pray at Tablerock
for the ability to love you for all eternity
I pray at Tablerock
for casualties, swindled survivors, and for the conversion of hearts
I pray at Tablerock
for the help of our guardian angels, intermediaries between God and humanity
I pray at Tablerock
for daily prayer before our Lord, in the world’s tabernacles and the most Blessed Sacrament
I pray at Tablerock
for the sake of our purity, to Mary mother of Jesus, Queen of Heaven: keep us pure in body and soul
I pray at Tablerock
for our forsaken Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, his most sorrowful passion, and His fourteen Stations of the Cross
I pray at Tablerock
for the fruit and gifts of the Holy Spirit; for the the intercessory prayers of the Saints and Martyrs that have gone before us
I pray at Tablerock
for the courage to make a good and thorough confession, recalling our sins, with the intentions of returning to God like the Prodigal Son
I pray at Tablerock
for the proper disposition and reverent fear of God Almighty, our Father: into His hands we abandon the past, and the present, and the future
I pray at Tablerock
for the fortitude to begin every day promptly with a morning prayer and an offering to Jesus Christ through the pure and Immaculate Heart of Mary
I pray at Tablerock
for the perseverance to attend daily Mass, to receive the visible sign, our Lord’s Body and Blood, and the reality and the power of this most sacred sacrament
I pray at Tablerock
for the discipline to pray five decades of the Holy Rosary every day, preferably with our families, meditating on the life of our Lord through the eyes of the Virgin Mary
I pray at Tablerock
for the piety to keep the presence of God throughout each day, reciting the Angelus in the morning, at noon, and at the end of the day; examining our conscience before bed
I pray at Tablerock
for the humility to seek spiritual direction and counsel, the attendance of a monthly, half-day spiritual recollection, an evening prayer circle every four weeks, and an annual three day silent retreat
I pray at Tablerock
for chaste married men whom love their wife and children and for chaste married women whom love their husband and kids, the sacrament of marriage providing all grace for the reality of an indissoluble, lifelong bond
I pray at Tablerock
for men and women to live and love in a celibate, chaste manner, a vocation to single life or until God may grant them a vocation to sacramental marriage, the religious life, or for men - the vocation to Holy Orders and the Roman Catholic priesthood
I pray at Tablerock
for the numerous lay apostolates, guided by the Holy Spirit, may they provide knowledge, understanding, wisdom and counsel with attractive, faith-based solutions to satisfactorily feed the insatiable and everlasting desires of people to freely give and receive love
I pray at Tablerock
for the wisdom of Solomon when he wrote: \"I loved her and sought her from my youth, and I desired to take her for my bride, and I became enamored of her beauty. She glorifies her noble birth by living with God, and the Lord of all loves her. For she is an initiate in the knowledge of God, and an associate in his works. If riches are a desirable possession in life, what is richer than wisdom who effects all things? And if understanding is effective, who more than she is fashioner of what exists? And if any one loves righteousness, her labors are virtues; for she teaches self-control and prudence, justice and courage; NOTHING in life is more profitable for men than these. When I enter my house, I shall find rest with her, for companionship with her has no bitterness, and life with her has no pain, but gladness and joy. When I considered these things inwardly, and thought upon them in my mind, that in kinship with wisdom there is immortality, and in friendship with her, pure delight, and in the labors of her hands, unfailing wealth, and in the experience of her company, understanding, and renown in sharing her words, I went about seeking how to get her for myself.”
Scripture Sources:
Romans 1:24-32, The New Testament of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ: Translated from the Latin Vulgate, A Revision of the Challoner-Rheims Version, Scepter Publishers 2014
Wisdom of Solomon 8:2-7, 16-18, Ignatius Catholic Study Bible, RSV-CE, Based on the Franciscan Lectionary, Ignatius Press: Augustine Institute, Original 1966