But I love him.


I said this so many times.

To myself, to my friends,

my family, the world.


It was my excuse.


I would run through the entire list

of all the bad feelings,

he made me feel.

And all of the ways

he hindered my soul.


At the end of it.

I would simply say,

“But I love him.”


Until one day,

someone stopped me and asked,

“What do you love about a man,

who makes you feel so bad inside?

How can you tell yourself, us, the whole world,

that this is love? That’s not love.

That’s crap, and you know it.”


That was it.

That was the beginning of my wake up call.


And now, six months later.

I can promise you, that you will

see the light again.


It will be so beautiful.

So bright.

And it will be worth waiting

all those months in the dark for.


- an exert from a book I\'ll never write #2