I can’t do this anymore...
The attacking feeling of depression, sadness, sin
And trying to grab something that is never there...
How I should react
When everything I hoped would never happen, happened
And I’m held captive by the hole inside
Holding back my feelings, which is the harder fight
I feel as if every mistake I make, just makes me more and more worthless
Everything I do wrong, it emotionally pounds me
I’ve tried to be perfect, but every time, I go in reverse
And it creates a deeper pit, this hole in my heart
I lie alone at night staring at the ceiling
Wondering why I’m even living’
Which just brings more pain and sadness...
To be honest, even I started to hate me
Feelin like a kid, always wanna scream and shout
But I just bottle it up, and smile as it penetrates my soul
I have no hope for tomorrow
Feeling like I’m locked in this prison cell
Like I’m trapped in a closet, and I can’t think straight
I’m barricaded inside, and no ones helping me out
And drowning in disappointment
As the waters slowly feels my lungs...
I wish I could erase my memory...
Maybe then I wouldn’t be so empty...
Cuz I just don’t know how to cope with it
And anything nowadays, in this life could leave me broken
And I…
I can’t do this anymore….
I watch as my insecurities eat me alive
And I wouldn\'t be surprised if my issues are there when I die
I’m... broken….
And I….I’m worthless...
Son…
Daughter…
My child…
I know you think you’re on your own
But the hurt and pain you experience
Those feelings of loneliness and thinking you’re under attack
Those thoughts and fears of captivation and despair
Their just lying that the enemy tells you
And those lies drive you to places that no human should ever tread
It coldens your heart
And chains your soul
Until finally...you “vanish”
And I don’t want that for you…
So just grab my hand...
And I will let no one separate you from me
Because you’re mine
My child
For do you not know that I am here for you
The creator of the universe
The king of kings
The very one who created love…
Is here for you
If you would just listen, you would know that
I love you…
I gave my son for you
A third of the trinity
My own flesh and blood
Just to get closer to my child
The chains you find yourself in
The wave you’ve been caught under
The burden you find yourself carrying
I can set you free
I can calm the waves
I can lift them off you shoulders...
So just grab my hand...
And I will let no one separate you from me
Because you’re mine
My child…
My dear child…
Calm down
Stop carrying this burden
Stop fighting a fight I have already won
Stop trying to do this on your own
I am here
I have died for you
And rose again
So that you may have life
I know you feel as if I left you…
And sometimes you ask if I love you still
But if you truly know me, you know I do and always will
And soon you see, your teary paint,
I’m painting beauty with them...
So just grab my hand...
And I will let no one separate you from me
Because you’re mine
Lift your head
Wipe your eyes
Dust yourself off
Put on your armor of Christ
And trust in me
And know I am God
For I will wipe your tears as they fall
And I will love you like no other could...
So just grab my hand...
And I will let no one separate you from me
Because you’re mine
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.