Scars taking down my body
Tears streaking down my face
Still hear his voice through the misery
scabs being ripped off
Pain shoved in the darkest corner of my mind
Emerging after so long
Making me shudder and spasm
As if a demons cold breath was gracing my neck
It may as well have been, after him
I haven\'t seen him in months
Yet I still fear as I turn the corner
That the nightmares will become animated
And I\'ll be within hi grasp once more
And no amount of blaring music
Cant silence the voice in my head
Whispering a plan never taken
I probably should have, after him
She thinks that she\'s helping
By cursing his name
By reminding me of the damage
Tucked so neatly behind me
So that no one else could see it
I should\'ve died
After being stabbed in the back
I may as well have, after him
Except the dagger was placed from the beginning
Why did I not feel it till now?
How could I lose my innocence without being loved?
How could I not have seen
As I fell deeper and deeper
within the claws of depression
How did I escape without painting my arms red to fade from existence
That\'s what he wanted anyway.
We all have our own personal demons
Mine just happens to be real
I worry when I resume conscious
I\'ll feel his viscous arms wrapped around me once more
That he\'ll be whispering his lies in my ear once again
That I\'ll be dragged from bed into hell
And be within his clutches for eternity
It\'s what he wanted, after all.
I was never loved, all that year
Never valued, never cherished
A tool, an asset
A toy to be played with
And destroyed once he was done
Who was that girl making those decisions?
It sure as hell wasn\'t me.
But I suppose that\'s what he wanted.