And now - for something completely different
As they say - or said, in that prog some years ago!
Hey, how did you know it was me
Moved over with you (some of you)
From a previous poetry site?
It\'s not exactly defunct
But gone into some sort of re-construction, me thinks
Not heard a dickie-bird from it for months
As to whether it\'s starting up again yet!
Well, ya know it\'s me - or some guy - do ya know him?
The secret - or not-so-secret
Pork pie eater and sherry drinker
You knows him - the guy who
Adds water to ya whisky, or wine, or whatever tipple
There he is.......
\'Psssttt\' - hear his syphon?
It\'s only ever got water in it!
He\'ll sneak around when you\'re asleep
And add water to it
Oooh, he can\'t have anything \'exciting\'
And he\'ll swoon at anything remotely \'hot\'
(So ya knows how ya could get rid of him now!
Just write a \'hot\' poem!)
Oh, but he dunno what he\'s on about
Thinks he is millions of years old
Thinks he was at The Battle of Hastings in 1066 in person!
Ahh, and he wants to know things
Such as -
Have they found Minnie Caldwell\'s cat on Corrie?
Cos he last watched it about 1963
Or - have they arrested that bunch of daffodils
That shot Dirty Den on Eastenders?
Cos he last watched that about 1990
He\'ll be quaint - greet ya with a loud \'Ccooeeee\'
He means well - just humour him if ya sees him!
Tee Hee Hee
A bit more - oohhh!
Now I just added this P.S.
To warn ya about something so ghastly
I can hardly speak of it
But there it is - in the UK at least, like a plague...
Every weekday -
The next episode of \'Neighbours\'!
Me protests - but never enough
That I refuse to watch a programme
With someone in it called \'Toadfish\'!
Sounds like some alien monstrosity
What\'s that? - it is! You\'re correct. lol.