An Open Letter To My Depression

Dear Depression,

Remember me?

your oldest friend

your bittersweet lover?


I fondly remember

meeting you for the first time

at age 12


when my father abandoned me

leaving me here alone in the dark

at age 13 you became my only

companion the only one I could call friend.


What I have learned of sadness

and despair in its purest form

was from you depression.


At 14 you showed me

only comfort comes

from slashing my wrists


shedding my blood

to bring serenity

to silence the voices

in my mind the voices

that won\'t go to sleep.


When everyone left me alone

your encouraging voice rang in my head

\"Just end it\" \"You\'ll be pain free\"


Because of you

everywhere I go

I\'m see as a creature

an ugly creature.


At age 15 I sold my soul to you

I gave you my heart and mind

in exchange for my sanity.

in exchange for my mentality.


At age 16 I thought

you left me alone once again

I find myself in limbo

between hope and despair.

I thought I was alone again.


At 18 you came back in my life

only to taunt and torture me

like he did he told me loved me

he had a hell of a way to show it.

I was nothing to him but his puppet

and he was pulling my strings.


Because of you depression

I live each day with darkness in me

waiting to engulf me in it\'s embrace.


Depression, my depression feels

like a demon sucking every drop of life from me

leaving an empty shell in it\'s wake.


Depression makes you wonder

if your life has meaning

or is it nothing but an empty void

with no purpose

no meaning.

Now at age 20

I have let failure go

I have let despair go

I have let anger go

I have let sadness go

I have let you go depression.


Dear depression

Here I am at age 20

You don\'t own me anymore

I have embraced hope

and embraced new life 

I am living life each day to the fullest.

My life now has meaning

my life now has purpose.


Dear depression

you are not welcome here anymore