Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

I cannot tell if I hate you or if I am in love with you.

You take all control out of my own hands. You make the entirety of me race; my heart, my blood, my mind, my breath.

You break me. But you also make me whole; you make me successful.

Just when I think I am doing okay at life, you remind me on how it is not good enough.

I must do more. I must strive for more. I must be more.

You debilitate me and motivate me all in the same instance. 

You make me frozen and on fire all at the same time; it is breathtakingly beautiful really.

My mind is going a million miles an hour, I am screaming within my soul, my heart is beating out of my chest, my blood is exploding through my veins, my breath escalates into hyperventilation.... but I am frozen and cannot move.

Dear Anxiety,

I cannot tell if I hate you  or if I am in love with you. 

It is all the same really.