Lacking in natural humanity
remiss of fairness or good
devoid of social graces
across my path this behemeth stood.
A low growl emmanated with menace
as it looked at me from one good eye.
\" Try and cross my path.\" It growled.
\" And surely you will die! \"
I quivered at it\'s ugliness
I feared it\'s menace and hate
but I had to outwit this thing,
it was my destiny, my fate.
Dragging at my courage
through the deepest well of fear
I called in a voice loud enough
to catch it\'s one good ear.
\" What must I do to escape your wrath
what wish can I fulfill?
How can I reach my destiny
and escape your threats to kill? \"
It\'s one good eye glowed with hate
as it hobbled closer to it\'s gate.
\" Turn on your heel spawn of scum! \"
It called in a roar.
\" And I surely wish I had a gun
because you would spawn, never more! \"
With paper courage ready to tear
I held it\'s eye in a steady glare.
\" Why must we battle for this path? \"
I asked, weary of my foe.
\" Why can\'t you just step aside?
and on my way I\'ll go. \"
\" NEVER!! \" It roared, full of hate.
\" will you advance beyond this gate
go back to the sewer from whence you came
and never darken my path again!! \"
\" It\'s not your path, neither your gate!\"
I replied, quite irate.
\" Now step aside and let me pass
before I kick your big fat ****! \"
The behemoth opened it\'s mouth to reply
but the answer didn\'t come,
instead, a stronger was voice calling.
\" MUM!... MUM!... MUMM!!! \"
The effect of that voice
was like salt to a slug
the behemoth in front of me
seemed to shrink like a bug,
it scuttled away out of sight,
and left me alone, in the night.
My wife greeted me with a kiss
and then she held me tight.
\" I\'m sorry darling. \" She whispered.
\" But me mum turned up tonight. \"