Unattainable Love

I never knew how much power his words still had over me until I heard them spoken to me with someone else\'s tongue
You ..
You ..
Yea you have to go
And no
Not the echo...
 of the haunted memory
Etched into my bones.
This innocent new guy, that doesn\'t even realize the power his words have,
Squeezing my soul like a bitter lime
The fresh juice seeping into my reopened wounds,  a fire burning into the fiber of my existence.
You don\'t even realize those aren\'t your words
They are the undressed synapses electrifying my memory
Untangled pure torture that follows a direct nerve to my heart and causes me to have a reflex you are not EVEN prepared for.
You\'ll be the umpteenth failed relationship
And when I say\" it\'s not you it\'s me \"
I\'ll really mean it\'s he....
He..the voice in my head who won\'t let me forget
He who holds me hostage in my regret
He who raped any shred of innocence I ever possessed.
He....not me 
His voice rings the loudest in my head.
And you
You mimic his words like he told you exactly what to say
To make me squirm
Like the worm on the hook when I was little and he took
Me fishing cuz he wished I was the son he didn\'t have.
Until that son came along and I became his trash.
You are the same
Youre him all over again
And him
 and him
And him
And every failed attempt
at me trying to receive a love
He wasn\'t willing to give.