Talking about it doesn\'t make it go away.
Because always at the end of the day..
It drags me back to my bed and I am left with sadness and gray.
I can\'t even look at people.
Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my own mind.
I try to convince myself that I\'m fine but I always come to realize that no matter how hard I try... I\'m not alright.
I can\'t even sleep at night..
I\'m really starting to lose this fight.
One day my depression is invisible.. the next day, it\'s eating me alive.
It\'s my best friend, I\'ve learned to live with it.
But it\'s also my worst enemy and it rips me apart... bit.. by bit..
Society will tell me to go for walks, listen to music, meditate
I am infused with insecurities and self-hate.
I try to be positive.. I try meditation.
But this isn\'t something that can be cured with any type of medication
This is a disease that messes up my concentration.
Prevents me from having conversations.
It controls every aspect of my life...
My work, my relationships, my education.
Sometimes I just want people to see that I am down.
I want to be found.
But no matter how much I try, I can\'t bring myself out
Because on the outside, everything\'s calm.
But in my head...
...it is so fucking loud.