You close your eyes, as if by shutting them, you could shut out the noise. 

White noise. 

Every separate sound blends and blurs into a shrill, piercing echo. 

You hold your breath. 

Waiting, waiting... on what?

Every word that\'s been carelessly tossed your way resurfaces; you remember everything. 

And in that moment, you\'re four. 

You\'re learning to ride a bicycle, and you start to fall- but a hand catches you. 

Turn around, and all you see is blue. You\'re flat on your back, you feel the grass bending beneath you. You run your hand along the grass tips of the uneven lawn, and you feel safe. 

The next thing you feel is air, rushing by you as you fall.. but there will be no ground. Why did you inhale? 

To remember. Everything. 


You crash into the water, but you don\'t feel it just yet. All you feel is the colors you\'ve seen, the scent of safety and warmth, the love and the hatred..  and you remember why you\'re doing this.