The blood upon the floor will not cleanse with bleach
Nor will it wash away from the back of my eyelids
As I scrub the floors till the paint starts to recede
trying to let go of these memories
And let the dead die
My mind replays reality
making life\'s past come back to present day
opening doors that I boarded up
And locked with locks that had no key
Realizing I cannot lock my pain away
For it will always follow me
This gun burns my temple
As I think this is the key to escape
The End of these haunting memories
This bullet within the chamber
has my name enscribed on its casing
And it has it in for me
It voice is breath taking
Only taking moments to be the end of me
Struggle is only for a moment
As voices fade from reach
Let it be known I do not know this ending
wether I will just fade away
And become nothing but ash upon the ground
or live in hell
with more pain than I had left the world with
No matter the outcome
I feel whatever is deserved of me
Because everything
And left nothing to be seen
This is my ptsd
My depression swallowing me whole
My anxiety killing me
and my addiction filling every hole
I do not know how to fix this
or if I even can
Sometimes I don\'t know if I am alive
And I have just become a haunted soul
I just know my past feels like my present
leaving me cold and lifeless
wishing only to be stoned