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Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp! ™-

Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp! ™-  
which might be morph eared than rigor mortis twitch being the last person chosen for quidditch or unable to maddening scratch (in public), comprising a body part located within a private niche.   take the following poetic suggestion, who rear ring experiences difficulty pooping common with this ole buck your choice to dismiss and chuck this highly touted solution if constipated, thus, aye hope this suggestion bring good luck - to breathe easy and git rectum unstuck.   tis helpful fart ya ta reed thar haint noah need for u to thank me a little or a bunch in an effort to squeeze tushy cheeks,  yet stop short to exert force  if ya grit teeth hard and hear them crunch well if even hide just venture a hunch available via personal testimony sans the rear of this asinine mwm - best applied after lunch best to git before significant utter beats cha cha cha to tha punch   whenever constipation a pain in the ass just maneuver this lightweight metal contrivance made of brass no matter if anybody considers this action crass and then...forewarn others of subsequent explosive gas which could be lethal enough to kill en mass ideal for a stealth attack to launch upon North Korean,  whose leader would cease giving sass.   anyhow, Yukon apply corkscrew motion up the alimentary canal to remove waste which most likely will be thick like petrified paste stuck deep inside bowels of the sphincter muscles and solidly encased   causing severe cramps within lower gastrointestinal tract inducing one to wince nonstop from being with fecal matter packed and no amount of primal groaning doth loose this hard fact   nor does imagery of freed turd ease the anal plight no laughing matter despite how absurd squeezing does nothing even applying all inner might but induces one tubby doubled over in height.   thus necessary to incorporate un-natural intervention to un-clog rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating causing one to resemble an over cooked Kosher hot dog swelling anus the size of a hog disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog yet tis essential per extricating what feels like one swallow a log lest epitaph induce impossible eulogy unless spoken after quaffing egg nog in the language of...say...pee pul living in Prague.   every ounce of effort required to bend over gingerly affixing plunger end of device to business of rear end best accompanied with close companion or friend recuperating under intensive care, a close brush with death to mend since this dirty deed done dirt cheap trick will ideally rend rock solid excrement to roll and crashing sound send   upon the bathroom floor possibly inducing seismic waves less or more whereby toilet bowl water will pour over the sides akin to white caps near sea shore without doubt making gluteus maximums extremely sore as related to this alien from Uranus from his kith in kin of yore.