My hearing is gone and my vision is dimmed.
My skin feels untouched even as the wind gusts against my face.
A person comes up to me and says my name,
But I do not react the way I used to.
Instead of responding, I stand there,
Completely distrait to the person calling my name.
But why?
Why have I chosen to not respond to him?
This person is my friend.
I’m ignoring my friend.
All I can truly hear and think about are the other voices.
The voices that tell me I don’t deserve friends.
The voices that tell me I don’t deserve happiness.
The voices that tell me I don’t deserve life.
Those voices are my demons.
The demons that implanted themselves within me.
The ones that refuse to leave no matter what I do.
As my friend gives up and walks away I ask myself,
“Why. Why do I do this to him and myself.
Why can’t I just go with him and have fun.”
But the only reply I get is from the demons.
“You don’t deserve it” they say.
Maybe they’re right.
Maybe I don’t.