most likely ecstatic pleasure to witnesses burnable –
non toxic – debris acquired from ma dad
who set flame \'most all the household trash
whilst he lived at 324 level road,
collegeville, pennsylvania pad
though he never filed a license
with the township,
he did get figuratively slapped,
and paid a heft fine
for depriving sanitation department
regarding motley crue to collect his trash,
which nondisbutable penalty,
no doubt found him mad
nonetheless he still set fire
to a gamut of combustible material, and this lad
(well actually, I hapt tubby a grown man at the time,
excitedly, ironically, osmotically
contracted, enacted, and grafted feverish itch
to create small scale “burning man festival”,
expericenced giddiness
doused with, than gasoline ignited
asper one matchless flame
drippled teepee shaped temporary
(soon burnt offerings) with glee and “EGAD”
and at random intervals of time
logged miles onto our family vehicle
and drove from our (thine
begotten daughters with wife)
riding a crest of euphoria anologous of cap\'n Ahab
when harpooning poor “Moby Dick” - a “baad”
ass Leviaton of a whale,
hence pumped with adrenaline
sparking mission
(that Smoky The Bear would abhor)
this pyromaniacal grippe had
a strangle hold upon yours truly
(with nary the merest hint from spouse)
felt reluctant to inform spouse,
nor even provide merest hint
her husband i.e. me a secret rad
duck cull at least within the framework
viz fascination with fire)
sans missionary confided tomb me via Prometheus
to ignite assorted plastic bags of rubbish (which included:
sweepings from kitchen floor, paper documents providing
confidential information,
collected combed hairs, et cetera
which fixation/obsession found close calls
with the local fire company
when, what appeared as an innocent bundle of kindling
(old newspapers crumbled as tinder)
lept out of control
and began spreading like a wildfire
affecting neighbors to contacting Pipeline
(former the referenced Eagleville,
Pennsylvania engine house)
unwittingly giving a half globe away
silently knighed nod Bashar Asad,
but unlike the Syrian malevolent
self proclained ruler de jure
my exploits quickly extinguished and relieved
no price tag affixed to this unintended arson,
especially if burly chap delivering verbal edict named Vlad.