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treasured untold shenanigans of santa, his elves and reindeer

happenstance collided, coincided, coagulated, et cetera with hormonally graphic, dumbfounded circumstance hence, only by a fluke did I manage to worm winning trust among Christmas elves and reindeer vowing confidence as a confidante sans this generic guy,   would never breach insidious, impious, illustriously scandalous tidbits, into a an underground impregnable air-raid shelter, the motley crue tied blindfold over my eyes, didst steer me hermetically sealed sound (cloud) proof coed bunker,   though escapades emanated noise asper a clunker subsequently followed by wail of “just dunk her,” while ensconced (security detail munchkins, who just so happened tubby queer minded entrance portal) only after getting the thumb up signal,   whereat nose pies planted espionage surveillance devices the chief head honcho and attendents, Smoky and the bandits respectively, magically, andhandily did ap pear   and despite one hundred percent bug free,
a whispered stance opted just to make sure
no unwanted eavesdropper could overhear plus every participant swore an oath, cuz   any leaked real or “FAKE” information, would spell imminent demise to be near the upshot, sans grave emergency describing clandestine arraignment involving some rogue elf
(most likely at least two),   and a misbehaving reindeer (names withheld to avoid any spoiler alert, plus this entire kit and caboodle necessary to help Saint Nick   got wind, (and subsequently reined in) a rave orgiastic party with orgamsic oohs and aahs sex, drugs and rock and roll,   that a band aided elf(ves) laced with Pepper Minstix
(anonymously hashtagged Sodom and Gomorrah) sullied pure as the driven snow repute,   when alias Sugarplum Mary (“FAKE NAME”)  detected snorting cocaine code named Alabaster Snowball, while additionally besmirching her virginity   via coital cavorting
amidst a Bushy Evergreen shaking as if frenzied with feverish boogie woogie flu   which seductive, prurient, and master baiter friend zeed (spunky gangnum style) Shinny Upatree which could slay Wunorse Openslae reputation as substance abusers, and sex offenders if not worse.