I got on the Upminster train at Acton Town,
I was happy, I was off to see my boyfriend I was Essex bound,
The drunken man sat next to me at Hammersmith,
Suddenly, he slept peacefully without a sound.
5k runners were all around me at Barons Court,
Excited they were off to Hampstead Heath to compete for the British Heart Foundation,
Two England football fans were at Earls Court,
Jubilant, they sang all the way to Gloucester Road station.
Men were spellbound by the brunette goddess at South Kensington,
She was a seductive vision in coral pink,
People moved away from the vagrant at Victoria,
The train was filled with an incredible stink.
International students were on board at St James’ Park,
They descended at Westminster for a boat ride to Hampton Court,
Two schoolgirls argued over a boy at Temple,
Bitterly and loudly they fought.
A respectable woman was engrossed with Fifty Shades of Grey,
At Mansion House, her pupils dilated,
Tourists complained about the Tower of London at Aldgate East,
The entrance queue was long and how they waited.
West Ham football fans entered at Whitechapel,
They travelled to Upton Park for the farewell tribute to the Boleyn Ground,
The old woman held her dog tenderly at East Ham,
She declared her eternal love for the beautiful basset hound.
A couple sulked at Hornchurch,
They looked at each other with hate,
The train arrived home at last at Upminster,
I kissed my boyfriend, who wondered why I was so late?