They say look to the future
That you’ll be happy there
But how can I trust
When there’s no one left to care
I’ve tried for many years
To hope in something more
What no one understands
Inside me there’s a war
I’m tired of all the fighting
I just want it to end
What else can I do
I never seem to blend
Make me forget the truth
Take away my past
Maybe I\'d be free
If only it would last
I don\'t know what to do
They pull me left and right
What road should I follow
Holding on too tight
I try to go one way
The other pulls me back
Perhaps Iḿ just stuck
Always on attack
Iḿ lost in whatś real
My mind is a mess
Emotions in turmoil
Wish I was less
Holding my breath
Gasping for air
Searching for something
Thatś never there
They tell me it’s easy
The choice is right here
But all I see is options
Nothing is clear
Sometimes I believe
What they tell me is true
But then I see the other
Just want to be through
Why is it so hard
Knowing what to choose
With everything at hand
Should be plenty of clues
Fixed on replay
Can’t move on
Going out of my head
Feeling withdrawn
Want to make others happy
So I do what they want
Leaving myself behind
My dreams are to haunt
Do I have ambitions
That make my heart soar
My life is about people
Me I ignore
I don’t know who I am
Can I figure that out
Will that cause problems
I’m filled with such doubt
I want to be happy
Live life to the best
But what does that mean
All is a test
If I make a choice
It only makes me wrong
Because for one I am good
But the other I don\'t belong
Everyone wants to be accepted
For who they really are
But if you don\'t even have that
How does one go far
One screams follow your heart
The other begs you not to
Because emotions are treacherous
And they\'ll only hurt you
So how do I find
What defines me
When all I know is others
Who try to make me see
I\'m so confused about life
What is right and wrong
People\'s ideas differ
So how can I be strong
What am I to say
To those who believe in me
I can\'t even see myself
I\'ll never be their key
They all have expectations
Of who I\'m meant to become
I want to make them proud
But it doesn\'t add to one sum
You can\'t bring joy to all
So what decides that line
Of who deserves more
And who to decline
If only I could be myself
But again that doesn\'t work
Because I still have no clue
It\'s all just a murk
I\'m losing my mind
Suffocating under pressure
Where am I to go
When I need a refresher
Can\'t I have a break
From all of this chaos
I\'ll never be what they want
I\'m not worth their loss
Maybe it\'s just me
And I\'m the one at fault
If I just made a choice
All of this would halt
I need to stop and think
About what I should do
But nothing is working
I have no breakthrough
Things are getting worse
I\'m falling down a spiral
It seems there is no way
To stop this broken cycle