Christmas trees are a pain in the bum,
The pine needles stick in my thumb,
When Grandma tried to put the lights up,
They dropped on her toe and she said \"Oh ****!\"
The lights got tangled and my Grandma got mad,
She nearly got strangled and that would be bad.
My Grandma\'s dog Ruby had a wee on the tree,
My Grandma said to Ruby \"Go out for a pee!\"
So don\'t buy a real Christmas tree,
Just buy a fake,
And don\'t let your dog wee on it,
For goodness sake!