There are many people that rely on me
For their reliability
That\'s a helluva lot of folks
I know if I say tonight
That I am to tired to work
I know I am going to get it from both sides
Nobody is going to understand
Or
Care that I am to tired
I am very aware of this flaw
I just want some freedom
From some where
Where I never have to ever feel
Those types of pressures
Again
Every night in this filthy ass place
I call
A dressing room
I rehearse my tired lines
Though
Over these years
I have wasted away mentally
To almost nothing
Try and pretend your happy
When you have a loaded 45
Pointed at your temple
In tears running down your face
Like a ripple from a wave
Inside I am screaming for help
But the sound
That comes out my mouth
Isn\'t audible
Like screaming without a voice
I am fighting off demons
That can appear
At any moment
Why shall I just die in vein
When I have that
Zhuh Nuh Say Kwah
About me
That\'s that little something special
About me did you know
I can never dis-value this big
Wonderful world
But dammit
I can kill them all
For mistreating me
How pathetic its is
The hurt
The dis-value
The ugliness
I hate them yes
But I hate me more for
Feeling like this
I have no more excuses
They don\'t know mentally I am dead
my ghost is holding on to my
Career not me
I have talked to my oppressors
About my alleged suicide
Attempt
They let me know that not only
Are they not going to suffer
For my foolishness
But they will feel relief
For my soul
I hate the selfish bastards
I have every intention
Of not ever speaking to them
In life if I live
Those selfish reasons
I can\'t take any damn more
They destroy everything about me
Everyone
And everything is not replaceable
So be careful what you break
Or whom you hurt
You go your way I go mines
I am having as little to do
With human beings
As possible
In some weird way
I am at peace with this