Repetitive
The neighbor hood is quiet today
So quiet I can hear my thoughts
I close my eyes and revaluate everything
The fog is dense and moist
it leaves my hands clammy
I Watch my breath leave my mouth and almost dissolve in the winter air
I Walk to the nearest store hoping they have what I need
I walk up to the register with a pack of pencil sharpeners
The man looks at me disappointment in his eyes
He’s know what I’m up to
I hand him the money I stole from dads wallet
I walk back feeling numbness everywhere in my body
I rush inside with the bag in my hoodie pocket
I close my door softly and one single tear streaks down my cheek
I wipe it away quickly
And continue Unscrewing blades from cheap pencil sharpeners
I run a cold bath
Laying in cold water to punish my self
“You just had to over eat again didn’t you “
Races through my mind
Slow cuts so I can make sure I get what I deserve
I watch the blood tint the water a faint red color
getting out with barely any energy
Immediately putting on a sweatshirt
Freezing cold I turn off all the lights in my room
I’m sitting in the dark while I feel the warm tears stream down my face
I close my eyes and eventually I fall asleep
Knowing the next days I’m gonna do the same thing
Repetitive.
Repetitive.
Repetitive.