After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more sans eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word, and spelt, spilt, spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,
which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE” and accused (Jake)
i.e. Jacob Marley hook concocted game over,
viz every doe done (possibly really espy
from Charles Dickens renown “A Christmas Carol”
comprised of many under currents,
asper what might appear as placid lake
which proclamation, he immediately
alluded, directed, reputed Putin to make
which Russian leader fed rumor mill to rattle and quake
an entablature, fixture, signature jais nais sais quois linch pin,
which quintessential, prominent,
off limits agitation slake
thirst of said tyrannical uber Voldemort, who glowed
(like the nose of Rudolph), and cherished
folklore idolized love, would be in seventh heaven to take
credit, which resignation could pronounce grief
and keep children a wake
across the world wide web an a palling gloomy dark
shadow falls heavy across the entire glommed globe,
where even the hark
cunning angels experience a mark
kid lee downcast misery even affecting plants,
whereat trees slumped over in every park
and nary a solution to tempt motley crue to avoid such stark
action, but spat out a litany of grievances
unseemly behavior not anew
but ongoing (quite a shock to learn of caribou
in upper management) via prurient axe,
possibly commingling with questionable emu
but, no matter, these voiced
fur row shuss transgressions soon flew
and spread like wildfire,
whence this virtuous claque seemed to be a glue
me pack of sordid, revolting,
traversing engaging with elves hoo
fing Alabaster Evergreen, Pepper Minstix,
Shinny Upatree...holy Jew
Peter, thee names all these centuries sin hissed stir
opprobrious lurid tabloid fodder, nobody suspected, nor knew,
now nothing could be done except
to arrange an emergency session
with head honchos possibly,
they exchanged tidbits while utilizing the loo
fast forward after a slapdash
public relations forum opted to arraign
every suspect, even that oft spotted whooping Crane
and, how in tarnation can (or should) an adult explain
to their son or daughter, that salacious behavior
cannot disappear via Trump peon strategy to gain
say contrary facts, now this poet breakfast for repast in the main
thenceforth, the December holiday will be sober and plain
but taking peremptory measures
to block fireplace flue so no errant rein
deer gets brazen and seeks rapprochement
against immoral attain in vain.